Negatives

If we have had highs, we have had lows too. Both of us have struggled with homesickness, loneliness and missing our dear ones who are far away. We continue to struggle with exhaustion. Our biggest negative, however, requires some background.

Last May I graduated with a BSN and one requirement left, passing a comprehensive final exam. My professors and I were confident that I would be ready to retake within 6 weeks of graduation. I spent the first to weeks after graduation in San Diego, visiting Fred and his family.

I came home, where my mom was still fighting a persistent (6 week) case of pneumonia. Two days after I got home, I was taking Mom to the ER for breathing complications. They took fluid off her lungs and she got relief. The next week the lab results came back and changed our lives. There were cancer cells in the fluid.

Soon tests shows the full diagnosis, stage 4 ovarian cancer, and our lives became a whirlwind of ER visits, hospital stays, surgeries and chemo. It seemed like everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. Complications cropped up everywhere. We had a strong support system and my dad was a great example of a loving spouse. My siblings (5 younger) were troopers, but all of us struggled. We struggled a lot. In September I finally passed the test and shortly after that passed the NCLEX. Our earlier blog posts pick up from there. Mostly. Within a few weeks of our move to Kodiak, Mom was pronounced cancer free. We breathed a sigh of relief and all began to heal.

A month ago my Mom had a routine check. The results rocked out world again as we learned that the cancer is back. Chemo began immediately and so did the complications as her blood counts have already delayed two treatments. Being away from my family right now has been tearing my heart. We are grateful for many things, God continues to take good care of us as a family, but tears come frequently and my heart aches.

Still life goes on. My brother, Josh, is preparing for his marriage in September to the lovely Emily. My sister, Jennifer, returns from the Summer Institute of Linguistics in North Dakota next week, and after a couple of weeks in WA will one to visit us for a few weeks. Fred’s brother, Tommy is in Mexico for a week. Life continues and we thank God for our dear ones in the midst of the negatives. We thank God for each other. My husband is a strong tower of support, tenderly caring for me in the hard times. “Some through the water, some through the flood, some through the fire, but all through the blood. Some through great sorrow, but God gives a song, in the night season and all the day long.” God still gives a song, even in the negatives.

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